Oh holy mother of Maude, the first dilation after returning home hurt like hell — even with the much more powerful painkiller I had leftover from a prior surgery here in the States. 😱😱😱 Far worse than the first dilation I had after being discharged from the hospital.

Took almost an hour to get to depth — it had only taken 5-10 minutes at most before I left Thailand — and I’m not sure I actually got there. Then it was the normal 15 minutes of “push and stir.”

Didn’t even attempt the second round with the larger dilator, with Dr. Suporn’s blessings. You can regain width later, but at the moment it’s crucial to not lose depth.

Probably multiple reasons why it was so tough — first dilations after returning home notoriously are.

First, with all the travel I’d gone 24+ hours without dilating instead the normal 8-hour interval. Probably made worse by my body healing quickly, and thus it was busy trying to close what thinks is a ginormous puncture wound.

Second, even traveling business class (to get the seats that convert into beds) was grueling and really uncomfortable on the surgical area. So my body is still pretty tense down there.

Being intensely jet lagged probably didn’t help get into the right frame of mind either.

Unfortunately, when you’re having difficulty dilating, the only solution is to actually do *more* dilating, to gradually loosen things up.

So once I finish dinner, it’ll be time for another round. 😭😭😭

O you who know what we suffer here, do not forget us in your prayers.