My co-workers are so supportive — they already started calling me Marla — that they’re the ones who were asking “why wait?” to transition, and one of the managers pointed out that the longer I waited the more potential confusion it could cause, over which name/pronoun to use.
So after talking with my managers and HR, Friday I took the plunge. Honestly, the timing was a little rushed for me — even though I was ready. There were minor annoyances, like my regular “everyday” hair (wig) being at the stylist, and larger worries about not having sufficient work wardrobe for the remaining two weeks before I take off for the holidays, and then go on medical leave. Plus I’m in the middle of getting treatment fast-tracked for the pinched nerve that causing a fuckton of pain.
But Friday after work, there was a previously planned off-site celebration of my 10-year anniversary working with the company, which was a good chance to talk with co-workers in a semi-informal setting.
So what the hell. There’s probably always going to be something that’s not ideal the timing.
Friday morning I got to my desk and there was little card, presumably from HR, saying “Congratulations and WELCOME!” with my new name on it. (I’m guessing it’s something they do for all new hires, but still, it was a nice touch.) Other than that, the rest of the day was shockingly normal. Obviously there were hellos said to co-workers on my team. Interestingly, at the happy hour, someone mentioned that because they’d seen me come into the office before, for the Halloween costume contests over the year and at last year’s office holiday party, it wasn’t a stretch for them to see me now. Honestly, I’ve got a feeling it was a bit of an open secret that it was more than “just the for stage.”
There were some double takes from other people in the office, who haven’t been told, and I’ll be interesting to see how things go next week, since Friday was a bit of short day, since I had an electrolysis appointment, followed by going to the DMV. Where despite dealing with Grumpy Cat clerk, I now have a driver’s license with my new name and gender. (Clerk wasn’t hostile, just the embodiment of the “I work for the DMV, and I don’t give shit.” Though interestingly, he was male, and the other two female clerks I dealt with briefly were much more friendly.)
Speaking of friendly, the only odd thing at work is one my co-workers who used to be a bit cold towards me. She’s French, with all of the traditional French brusqueness, and we’d butted heads a bit in the past because she tends to mansplain and talk over people — which I wouldn’t put up. But all of sudden she’s extremely friendly and talked about how much she enjoyed it when came to the office as a woman previously, and how I have an adorable smile. Go figure…
Friday night, I did my first solo performance at the “big” monthly Hubba Hubba Revue burlesque show downstairs in the main room, that holds about 800 people. I’ve done their “little” weekly show in the upstair room, that holds maybe 70-80 people many time before, but this was being called up to the big leagues.
The timing obviously sucked, but when get a big break like that, you have to take it. I ended up having to scale back the act, with the producer’s blessing, but I still killed it — I had numerous strangers come up to me afterwards telling me how much they liked it.
More importantly, it was a chance to see lots of folks from my burlesque community, who offered their congratulations and love.
But honestly with all the running around — Saturday, I had to run up to Oakland for my first bra fitting, then over to San Franicisco to pick up my hair, and try to see if I could find a few more pants to wear to work, then book the flight to Buenos Aires, as well as to SoCal for Christmas (which involved it’s own merry go-around creating new frequent flyer and rental car memberships — that it really didn’t full sink in until Saturday night when I finally got a chance to catch my breath.
But yeah, it’s actually happened.