By all accounts “transitioning in place” is hard. A friend of mine noted that looking at the bios of trans people who transitioned in place, it’s extremely common to see that within a few years after transition, they’re working somewhere else, and often they’ve switched in a different field. My friend had a bad experience with a workplace that slowly turned toxic post-transition and in the end, the only solution was to cut ties. The same goes for social ties — it can be hard for other people to do The Work to fully accept us as our new-to-them selves, so in the great American tradition, we leave and start over, free of pre-conceptions.
That’s a bit depressing, since I like where I live, and I like both my job and the company I do it for.
But especially in the workplace that makes sense — something to think about if I do end up transitioning. Though it might not be so bad, since I’m beginning to feel things are getting a bit stale at my current job. But I’m also at the age where age discrimination in Silicon Valley is a definite thing. Could I move into a different career? Sure, but it’s unlikely to pay as much as I make now, and given the insane Bay Area real estate prices that would have some serious consequences.
OTOH, one advantage of being in a large urban area is that it’s easier to move social circles without physically moving. Especially when my most of my social life is up in San Francisco, so there’s room to develop new social ties more locally.
But I’d hate to lose the social connections I’ve made, especially in the burlesque scene.
As one of those on the meandering path, I do have hopes of establishing myself as a woman, I might not need to cut those ties. Specifically in the burlesque scene I’ve been careful to (almost) always present as a woman. Not sure how exactly I’m seen. Definitely people know I’m trans. Some people know that I don’t live full-time as a woman. OTOH, with a few rare exceptions they’ve always interacted with me as a woman.